College Application Essay

It was raining while everyone rushed into the tiny Church; kids were dancing and they did not own shoes; people were thanking God for everything, and they had nothing. These thoughts ran through my head as I entered the church and sat down in the wooden pew next to an old woman, her dark leathery skin crinkling as she smiled at me. It was my last night in the Dominican Republic, where I went to build a house and experience a different lifestyle. As I clapped my hands to a familiar Christian song, I reflected on the night before.

            Twenty-four hours before, as I sat in this same church, I experienced emotions I have never felt before, emotions I hope never to feel again. I hated myself. Never before had I felt so guilty, disappointed, and angry. As I watched my new friends go up in front of the congregation, I thought about their lives; I thought about how they treated us strangers with love and how they lived their lives to serve others. Then I thought about my life; I thought about how I treated others, how I judged, how I thought about myself and my needs everyday. The people I met in this small town were the nicest, most selfless, most caring individuals I have ever encountered. Yet many lived in houses smaller than my room, most ate three meals a day smaller than what I eat for breakfast, and all owned wardrobes smaller than what I have in my top dresser drawer.

            I have believed in God my entire life. However, for a while on that Saturday night, I stopped believing in God. A god would never be so unfair and treat his followers so unjustly. For leading a selfish life, I was blessed with heath, stability, and opportunities. For leading a selfless life, my Dominican friends were cursed with malnutrition, death, and poverty.

            That night as I lay in bed, I dreaded the morning. I did not know if I could face these people or look into their eyes without breaking down with the pressing guilt in my heart. However, the sun did rise, and morning did come. But I did not feel the helpless, angry emotions I felt the night before. Instead, I felt hopeful and anxious. The solution to ridding myself of the extreme guilt was to become someone I was proud of, to change my life into one worthy of God’s blessings. God blessed me with so much because he knows I have the capability of doing something with those blessings, of making something of my life. It was up to me: I can become a person I am satisfied with, for I have the all the resources to do it.

            Now, back home in California, I am living a different life: a life I can be proud of. Instead of going to Church to ask God to help me with my day, I am going to Church to thank God for my day; instead of dreaming to become a doctor so I can work in a big hospital in LA, I am dreaming of becoming a doctor so I can work for the Peace Corps or Doctors Without Borders. That night, I had never felt so low and disgusted with my life; today, I have never felt so high and excited about my future.